Dear Nixietrix,

This might sound a little corny however I just read your column and I think you are simply aMAIZEing. Now that’s why I wrote in for a little snifter of advice myself. You see I’ve got a bit of a hot date lined up with a rather dashing, dishy, delight of a hottie sharlottie. Trouble is this gorgeous hunk of a radishing spunk from the dark side of cyber-town is playing hard to get. Now I’m hoping to win the full measure of his broken heart with the worlds best cake. I’m thinking I need just a little more than 50 shades of Earl Grey on the menu this time so Ms. Nixistar I would be most grateful for your help. Please do-nut say no. I just simply couldn’t bare it this time if he turniped his nose at my food for udon know how much he means to me.

Look I know I’m no Breeonyce and I don’t want to come across too strong for fear of giving him the crepes, but I do secretly long for the words olive you. I just want him to Knead me….

Thanks a skinny latte,

Yours,

Miss E. Wok

Dear Miss Wok,

Honeydew you love my column? Oh how very sweet to have passed on your admiration….

Salami- get this straight, you want the worlds best cake to impress the one who has single handedly stolen another little pizza your heart again?

I’ve got just the recipe my dear little lady wok and if this doesn’t hit his spot then it’s simply nacho your problem anymore.

So…let me suggest to you my dear.

LeCroquembouchetowerofburning,yearningLovelecarameldelighttakeabite

Ingredients:

I cup of water (sincerity and loving intention need only be included)

A good knob of butter (best -very firm)

Eggs (well whipped)

Flour (softly sifted)

Milk  (two jugs)

Vanilla (spiced, buttery, sweet….)

Sugar (a generous offering)

Method:

Begin, slow and steady where water meets butter gently. Bring ingredients to a gradual boiling point and you butter make sure to gently spoon in the soft folds of carefully prepared flour power. Eggs, whipped good and that’s not all yolks for next we continue to stir the pot of desire in a circular motion to form a ready dough, thick and glossy. On a warmed, well greased pan position rounded dough. Balls should be firm.  Sprinkle water to create a vigorous expulsion of steam….oh and now to bake in a hot oven, heat rising…next the crème patissiere should begin to brew..warm milk, sweet sugar, spiced vanilla, more flour, more and more and and oh dear,,,,,whisk with increased speed.. uhuh…. Where was I, er YES ..NOW… release mixture into opened profiteroles,,, ahhhh so delicious and now to stack layer upon layer upon layer, rising, rising to the top, to the highest peak and finally YES ,yes, OH MY goodness cascading chocolate sauce with a mind blowing finale of caramel delight……..

If he doesn’t like it or better still he doesn’t love you for that matter, simply chalk it up as a disappointing impasta of love... And if all else fails keep calm and curry on…

Anyway I hope it all goes according to flan….

Yours with a fanta-stick cup of sunshine,

Nixietrixstar

(With Nixie in the Kitchen)

Looking for a recipe, so blessedly heavenly yet sinfully good, this kitchen's the hood to come rollin’ my homies... So spicy it’ll put the chilli in your cold, so bold you’ll be all a games of cones in this an attack of the cloves…. Oh yes, here is the place to blur all of the limes, fun times at the helm of a lovin' oven.  Lookin for a menu?.... You found the venue so lettuce taco bout it. To brie or not to brie?… Hell yeah….coz we’ve got all the thyme in the world… What’s cookin' good lookin?? Beyond a shadow of a sprout…...this kitchen is open now-kapow!!!....so let’s spin, spin, churn and turn it into butter.…..

Dear Nixie,

Holy Shitake ..I heard about your column and just had to write in. Where have you bean all my life? As you know it takes two to mango…and I’ve a little date with destiny coming up..

I’d like to cook something a bit spesh for the little ladylove legs. She likes it real sweet with a full heart of heat and I yam crazy for her….

A penne for your thoughts??

Yours with hugs and quiches,

Darth W. Aiter

Dear Mr Aiter,

I’d like to just start by saying that I honestly do relish the fact that you have mustard the strength to ketchup with me for a little sprinkle of advice…..Don’t be thinkin that people don’t carrot all…coz they surely do my lil cashew…. Might I suggest to you a vintage favourite of mine, uhuh…..yep….it must surely be time to dine on a sweet saucy serve of Banana cream Pie…. oh me …oh my…let delight take its flight into your weapon of mass convection - a confectioncorrection for the bad boy about town….

And so I give you….

Bananarama Silkpyjama Creamy dreamy Ohsohighonlovinpie…….

Ingredients….

Bananas- ripe and definitely firm

Butter- melted and warm

Eggs (lightly beaten and I’m not yoking)

A gentle hint of salt

Two soft mounds of all-purpose flour

A hard crusted preparation of pastry (the whole 9 inch pan)

A twist of  vanilla

Some generous cups of sweet sugar

A good pint of milk

Method….

Have ready a 9 inch measured and firm serve of pastry crust and mould gently to a warmed and well greased pan… 

With a quick and careful release allow the well-filled sugar cups to meet a playful caress of fresh, sweet and spiced vanilla. Now, two soft mounds of all-purpose flour may be included in the mix and combined with a good warm, lashing of milky loveliness…. Heat with increased temperature and bring ingredients to a well acquainted boiling point… add a lightly whipped addition of eggspectation   and turn up the heat to hot hot hot…oh what?? Ah, yes.. and now allow in a good knob of firm butter, hearts a flutter, not much margarine for error…. Fill pan with the whole loving lot and NOW, YES….Uhuh… BANANA, BANANA, BANANA ON TOP and more Banana…. OH SWEET love to reach with glorious peaks of meringue height so light, oh, oh, oh so delicious, pleasing, yum, yum and Yummy….. Satisfaction guaranteed.

Anyway, give it a shot …. I think she will find this rather apeeling…

Gouda Luck,

Yours truly,

Nixiestar xx